The Upside: Turning Down Food

We’ve all been there.

You’re at the in-laws.  Or a family reunion.  Or the house of a good friend.  Or a friend of a friend.  It’s time for dinner.

And whoever it is that is serving you has done that thing we all tend to do when we host people for dinner – they try to impress everybody by cooking something that they just… aren’t… properly trained to do.

And just looking at it makes you want to throw up.

It’s human nature.  We all want to put our best faces forward when people come over.  We don’t spend hours cleaning our houses because we want people to see exactly how we live.  Just like we don’t serve our guests Cheetos and mustard sandwiches when they come over.  So we step outside of our comfort zones and try something more interesting.  But interesting doesn’t always work.

Nasty gelatin food

Just look in any cookbook from the 50s.

And there you are, poor soul, staring down the barrel of having to eat this unholy concoction.  And you don’t want to be rude.  But you don’t want to put your mouth within 10 feet of it, either.  So what’s a person to do without crushing some nice-but-woefully-unskilled-in-the-kitchen person’s heart?

If you get canker sores… You’ve got an out!


“Look, I’m really sorry, but I’ve got a huge canker sore right now, and it looks like your Casserole Pie Surprise has peppers/mayonnaise/vegetables/babies/demonic goo in it that just really sets these things off, so please don’t take offense if I just munch on some dessert.  Thanks.”

Of course, if they don’t believe you, just whip out that bad boy and give everybody something slightly less disgusting to look at.

Dinner – and face – saved.


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